Mike's Birthday Advice

My Mum had a birthday a couple of weeks ago. Just last Monday Mike offered his advice:

"Grandma, don't have too many birthdays because if you do you get to be ninety and then you die and go like this."

Mike then gets down on the floor, legs together, arms crossed on his chest and eyes closed (Egyptian mummy style).

I wonder if he can tell me how not to have birthdays?

Tagging things again

I've been tagged again and this time I'm supposed to list five things in my wardrobe that I can't do without. I'm a little stuck with this one so I've decided to list five things that I don't have in my wardrobe:

1. Dresses (the one exception being my 'matron of honour' dress that was made for me for my friend's wedding) The reason for this is that it is impossible for me to find a dress to fit. I am almost 5 ft 2 in tall with long legs for my height. This means I'm short-waisted. Therefore dresses usually have a neckline that sits too low and it's impossible to adjust the shoulder part of the dress to allow for this. So I have skirts/shorts/slacks/jeans and tops instead.

2. Very high-heeled shoes. I have flat feet and those high heels just kill me. I don't know how some women manage to wear them day in and day out. I tolerate very small heels on shoes but am most comfortable with flat shoes.

3. Pink things. Pink just doesn't suit me. I love blues (especially navy blue), dark greens, purple and even red, but not pink.

4. Immodest tops and very short skirts/shorts. Enough said.

5. Polar fleece. I hate the feel of it.

Archaeology

Mike has decided that he wants to be an archaeologist when he grows up. I'm sure he doesn't realise yet that being an archaeologist doesn't always involve wearing a brown hat, carrying a satchel and whip, surviving the most ridiculously impossible scenarios and riding off into the sunset on a horse at the end of each adventure.

I think it's in the blood. Hubby could not resist buying from a work throw out (for the grand sum of $2) a digital camera that is so old that it takes 3.5 inch diskettes. Hubby said that the original price of the camera was in the region of $1200. Somewhere in our shed is a boat anchor that actually takes these relics but Hubby was enquiring at the shop on Saturday about the price of an A drive to put into one of our more recent computers. Not surprisingly the shop attendants gave him strange looks and assured him that no such beast exists nowdays. I decided to ask Hubby why he wanted to spend a stack of money to ensure that he could use a camera that I'm sure was probably used by Noah to take snapshots of the receding floods. After all, you can get a digital camera that takes far better pictures for less than what he'd want to spend. Both Hubby and Anika looked at me in shock and Anika said, "But Mum, it's archaeology!"

And speaking of technological things...we were also shopping for a DVD player. We've discovered two things about computerised equipment just lately:

1. Dishwashers' computer brains are addled when plumbed to hot water and therefore explode into flames after 7 years of use. This was one plumber's opinion anyway. Our new dishwasher is now plumbed to cold water.

2. DVD players object strongly when a six-year-old asks them to play two DVDs at the same time. After having the cover taken off to retrieve the first DVD they go on permanent strike.