I'm Dreaming of a White March....

Here's how to have a White Christmas when:



a. it is March and

b. you live in the sub-tropics



1. Load dishes into the dishwasher and start it.

2. Start hand washing the baking dishes.

3. Hear awful noise from dishwasher then hear worse noise.

4. Press the power off button.

5. Make sure you stand back while there is an enormous explosion, followed by flames exiting the front handle of the dishwasher.

6. Yell, "Fire, Fire!!"

7. Help Hubby locate fire extinguisher.

8. Watch as fire extinguisher puts out fire but then flames re-emerge.

9. Grab mobile phone, oldest son home sick from Brigade and budgie and exit house.

10. Call fire brigade whilst Hubby continues the battle.

11. Allow fire brigade to enter house and disconnect dishwasher from electricity and water after ensuring Hubby had put the fire out.

12. Watch from the front patio as the fire fans blow all of the smoke out of the window.


13. Return to kitchen that is covered in white fire extinguisher powder.


14. Decide that a White Christmas is not all it's cracked up to be and start cleaning kitchen benches, stove, floor, baking trays, entire contents of dishwasher and white firemen's footprints.

15. 3 hours later look wistfully at the book that was intended for a quiet Friday night.

16. The next day start looking for a new dishwasher. Criteria Number One: Must not explode into flames frightening the life out of the owner.
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