How to clear a doctor's waiting room part 2 (or how to wake up everyone in a children's ward of a hospital)

1. When your child falls over and smashes his hand into a broken bowl make sure it is late on a Saturday. i.e. so that no x-ray is available at this time of evening to check all the bowl is removed.

2. 5 weeks later take the child back to the same medical centre with a lump in his right hand which is hard and sore.

3. Have lots of fun getting him to stay still for x-rays.

4. Take him to city children's hospital emergency room for consultation.

5. Have him seen by 2 doctors, 1 orthopaedic surgeon and 1 anaesthetist. Sign hundreds of forms.

6. Wait patiently for 6 hours at hospital for operation.

7. Take mobile phone call in parent waiting area from nurse telling you he is in recovery. At least... try to take call from nurse when there is full on screaming from your child in the background. Figure that it must be the theatre nurse asking you to go to recovery so go there.

8. Comfort child screaming, "I want to go home. I want some milk. I want to drink milk all day long. Ouch, Ouch, Ouch."

9. Assist nurse to administer panadeine in between screams.

10. Try to quieten child as he is taken into a ward at 9 pm at night when another child is supposed to be sleeping in the room with a broken femur.

11. Try to sleep at 11 pm beside child's bed. Get woken at 12 pm for I/V antibiotics, at 12:30 pm when the drip machine beeps unceasingly, at 1 am as new patient arrives screaming, at 1:30 am as child with broken femur screams, "It tastes yukky, I don't want the medicine." Just get comfy to sleep and forget it when at 2 am patient (who arrived at 1 am) screams, "It tastes yukky, I don't want the medicine." Again a short time later when Mike asks for the toilet so request nurse to drag drip in while you help with the toilet. At 3 am give up on the sleep idea once Mike is asleep and search out some hot water and low fat milk and LOTS of sugar because you haven't eaten since breakfast. More disruption as nurses take temperatures and discuss why Mike had I/V antibiotics.

12. Finally get to go home at 10:00 am.

13. Sleep most of the afternoon.

14. Be thankful it was only one night. Femur Dad gets to stay a couple of weeks.

Mike is showing everyone the pictures of his bones (some of them have my bones too to hold his hand in the right place).

More news: I got to see the specialist Aug 28 as there was a cancellation. At least there's a diagnosis: SOD type 3 (how's that for an acronym). Bad news is there's no quick fix surgery. Good news is there's medication I've started which may help. Terrible news is that codeine and chocolate aggravate the condition. But....maybe when the medication controls the pain I can have teensy-weensy bits of chocolate. I need to put some tucks in my clothes... maybe this justifies spending money on some new clothes? According to Edna (The Incredibles) I might fit the supermodel definition, "Stick figures with poofy lips."